


Bite

by littlemissmandy3



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Marauders, Marauders' Era, Period-Typical Homophobia, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-23
Packaged: 2018-05-06 12:30:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5417171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlemissmandy3/pseuds/littlemissmandy3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Remus Lupin moves through his sixth year at Hogwarts, he is forced to face some difficult truths. Is being true to himself worth sacrificing his friendships?</p><p>Rated T for strong language throughout.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mates, Dates, and Utter Disasters

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my first extended fic. I really ship this pairing, and decided to have a go at writing some Wolfstar of my own. I really hope you enjoy it :)
> 
> I'd just like to reiterate the homophobia tag before we begin- although fairly period typical, there is strong homophobic language used which may make some readers uncomfortable.

Remus John Lupin had a problem. It was not a small problem, either.  True, it wasn’t quite on the same level as what James so eloquently described as his “furry little problem” but it was still a major issue.  In approximately thirty eight minutes (not that he was counting), he had a date. With a girl. Splashing some cold water onto his face in a vague attempt to calm his nerves, he stepped out of his bathroom into the dormitory, where his friends were waiting. “Do I look ok? I really wasn’t sure what to wear. Is it too formal? Too casual?” He fretted, tugging at the collar of his shirt.

“For Merlin’s sake Moony, it’s only a date. I don’t know why you’re getting in such a flap about it!” James laughed, “If Peter can survive his first one, I’m sure you can!”

Rather late, the smallest, if heaviest, of the quartet glanced up with an indignant, “Hey!” This only served to increase Remus’s growing anguish. He was the last of the four to have earned his first date, a merit probably earned by his unabashed reputation as Gryffindor’s resident bibliophile. 

“You’re going to Hogsmede with McKinnon, not Azkaban with a Hungarian Horntail!” Sirius chipped in as he rifled through the trunk at the foot of his bed. It was a minor miracle that he could find anything in there, Remus thought, with his habit of just tossing things in haphazardly.

“It’s alright for you, you’re like bloody Lothario sometimes!” Remus complained loudly, leaning back against the door frame with a sigh.

“Lothari-who?” Sirius questioned, before suddenly straightening up, apparently having found what he was looking for. Moments later a small object was launched in Remus’s direction. Presumably Sirius had intended for Remus to catch it, being all too accustomed to throwing things at James, the star chaser. However, he had clearly forgotten that Remus was in fact, not a star chaser at all, and that he wasn’t even a spectator most of the time. In the time it took for Remus to process this, the thing had bounced off of his forehead, leaving a small red mark, and landed on the floor, skidding a few metres.

“He’s a muggle char… ow!” Remus bent over to pick up the object, and was slightly mollified upon finding that it was a chocolate frog, and not- as he had first thought- a small rock.

“I thought it might calm your nerves slightly,” Sirius explained with a lopsided grin. Remus, however, responded with a small frown, unwrapping the frog and peering at it myopically as it squirmed in his hand. After nearly six years, he knew better than to accept food from any of his friends without inspecting it carefully first, unless he wanted to turn a bizarre colour, or to lose the ability to speak anything other than Gobbledegook for several hours. Or days, as had once happened to poor Peter.

“Your mistrust wounds me!” Sirius exclaimed dramatically, “Even I would not be so cruel as to sabotage your first date!”

James laughed, “It would have been hilarious, but some people are just too righteous!”

Rolling his eyes at his friends, Remus cautiously took a small bite. When satisfied that he wasn’t in the process of sprouting any extra appendages, he made short work of the rest of the frog.

“Did that actually help?” Sirius asked incredulously

“Of course it did! Remus loves chocolate almost as much as he loves books- I’m surprised he isn’t trying to date them,” James joked, coaxing a small smile from Remus.

“Maybe he is, and that’s why he spends all that time in the library!” Peter piped up from his Divination homework.

“It wouldn’t surprise me, but we ought to get moving. Don’t want her to think you’re not coming, do we?” James jumped to his feet athletically.

“Maybe I shouldn’t go…” Remus muttered weakly, “I’m sure I’m not cut out for this,” 

“Marlene’s an awesome lass, she has great tits and she’s a decent kisser,” Sirius announced tactlessly, “Just don’t bore her to death, and you’ll do fine,”

Remus opened his mouth to protest further, but James was already in the process of dragging him out of the dormitory and towards where the source of the problem was waiting at the foot of the stairs.

 

“Hi Remus!” Oh Merlin, she looked genuinely happy to see him and she had clearly made an effort with her appearance; her hair was much straighter and shinier than usual. This was a bad idea. This was a very bad idea.

“Hi Marlene,” He managed, when he had finally regained the ability to speak, his usual eloquence having apparently jumped ship.

“I’ll leave you to it then mate,” James muttered from behind him, before disappearing off into the melee of the common room: presumably in hunt of Evans so he could subject her to more of his standard lovesick torment.

“So, what did you have planned for today?” Marlene made a brave stab at conversation, clearly picking up on Remus’s nerves. He clutched at the lifeline.

“I don’t mind, I thought we could maybe go to the Three Broomsticks for a Butterbeer? Or get something at Madame Puddifoots…”  He trailed off at the sight of her facial expression. Clearly it would be the former option.

“Not Madame Puddifoots,” Marlene said decisively “Those cupids really don’t like me, and the feeling’s definitely mutual,”

“Well, I should hate to have to fend off hordes of pissed off cupids, so Butterbeer it is!” Remus gave a weak smile, internally groaning at his pathetic attempt at humour.

There were a few seconds of silence before Marlene burst into laughter, “You’re actually quite funny,”

“Um… I’ll take that as a compliment, shall I?” Remus shuffled awkwardly.

“Yeah, I think it was,” Marlene replied upon having composed herself, “Shall we get going then?”

 

This really hadn’t been too much of a disaster, Remus thought to himself. Yes, half of Hogwarts seemed to have congregated in the Three Broomsticks, but Marlene had managed to find them a quieter corner, and when he had relaxed a little, he found that she was actually quite easy to talk to, despite his lack of experience. There was also the fact that he was fairly sure that James, Sirius and Peter were spying on him from somewhere (possibly with the aid of James’s cloak), but to be frank, he had given up on any illusions of privacy in second year after they had worked out the whole werewolf thing. “Do you want another Butterbeer, Marley?” He offered, the requested nickname feeling strange and unfamiliar in his mouth.

“I don’t think we’ve got time, we have to be back at the castle in fifteen minutes,” She flashed him that smile again, leaning forwards across the table just slightly.

Remus began to get to his feet, preparing to leave, but then Marlene reached across the table and placed a hand on his arm.

“We’ve still got time,” She said softly, and there was something in her voice that made Remus return to his seat.

“What for? We really should be off…” Remus protested, entirely oblivious to Marlene’s unwavering gaze and fluttering eyelashes.

“For this,” She replied cryptically. A slight frown began to creep onto Remus’s face as he tried to solve the puzzle, but the solution didn’t even have time to fully form in his mind before he felt her lips on his. Oh Merlin. Oh Merlin. Oh fucking Merlin. He just couldn’t.

“I…” Remus panicked, pushing her away with a little more force than was probably necessary. Without even checking see if she was ok, he leapt to his feet, knocking his chair over in the process, and fled through the crowded building out into the cool evening air.

Once outside, Remus stood there for a while, gasping for breath as if he was drowning.  He couldn’t think clearly, struggling to understand both himself and the way he had behaved. He had been on a date with a really attractive girl, she’d leaned in to kiss him, and he had practically assaulted her. It could only have gone worse if he’d bloody hexed her or something!  Why the fuck couldn’t he just be normal? Or at least slightly more normal, considering all the werewolf bullshit. He’d been naïve enough to think that if he’d just gone on a date and got a ‘bit of action’, as Sirius would have put it, he’d realise the stupid thoughts he’d been having were just that… stupid thoughts. But they weren’t, were they?

“Remus, what the fuck was that?” He heard the heavy door of the Three Broomsticks slam shut just moments before her shrill voice rang out down the street. Her face was flushed and her grey eyes flashed with anger, but he could also see the tears brimming there, which she was evidently trying to blink back. Guilt swelled up in his chest, “I… oh Merlin… sorry….” He stammered, hoping that she would just hex him and have done with it.

“I thought that you liked me? What’s your problem?” She interrogated furiously, pulling him round by the shoulder when he tried to turn away.

“Marlene… I do… I just…” Remus attempted again, looking at her pleadingly when words failed him.

“What is it then Remus? I don’t care if you think I’m disgusting, or ugly, or whatever- just be straight with me!” Marlene pleaded.

A strange feeling washed over Remus; there was a slight twist to his mouth at the irony of her words as he unthinkingly uttered the words that would be his undoing, “That’s the problem, I can’t be. I’m not.”

Marlene frowned at him uncomprehendingly, “You’re not what?”

“Straight. I’m not straight, so I can’t be straight with you,” Remus continued along the dangerous path, even though he could feel his guts twisting around and a voice in the back of his head was screaming at him to back-track, to stop, to pretend he was joking.

“You’re a-” Marlene seemed to be struggling to find the polite terminology.

He caught on and helpfully filled the gap, “Gay. I’m gay,” a bitter tone creeping into his voice as he spoke the damning words aloud for the first time, “The only thing wrong with you is that you’re not a bloke. Otherwise there’s not much to complain about.”

She continued to gape at him, apparently at a total loss for words, and the uncomfortable silence that followed gave Remus just enough time to allow the gravity of what he had just confessed to sink in.

“Marlene, you can’t tell anyone,” He added urgently, panic seizing him.

“I know when to keep my mouth shut,” Marlene reassured, but she wasn’t quite meeting his gaze, and it unnerved him, “Well, it’s been a decent afternoon anyway. Thanks Remus,” She muttered by way of goodbye, before ducking back into the Three Broomsticks in search of her friends.

 

Remus considered doing the same, but he wasn’t sure he could face the boisterous trio at that exact moment in time- a heavy tiredness and a sick sense of regret had washed over him the moment that Marlene was out of sight, and he just wanted to be alone for a few minutes. Running a hand through his hair, he trudged back up the path to the castle, where he made a beeline for his natural habitat- the library- where he sought solace in the largest book he could easily find. It transpired to be a somewhat turgid novel about a young wizard with spattergroit, however when he had become accustomed to the ostentatious style, he found himself entirely absorbed.

“Remus, my man, we thought we might find you in here!” A familiar voice boomed from behind him, and he groaned inwardly, marking his place in preparation for the onslaught.

“How was it?” Peter asked eagerly, flinging himself onto the arm of Remus’s comfortable chair- which creaked in protest.

“Let’s just say that dating isn’t my strong point,” Remus admitted carefully, colouring slightly as he did so. There was no point lying to the other marauders, they knew him better than anyone and would see  straight through any facades he tried to construct.

“Did you make an utter fool of yourself Moony?” James laughed, eyeing the title of Remus’s book with disgust, “I wish we could have been there to see it.”

“What?” Remus exclaimed dramatically in spite of himself, “You mean you weren’t watching me from under the cloak, or using some other elaborate scheme to somehow spy on me?”

“I wanted to, but Pads was being a grumpy git and – “

 James was cut off by a sharp elbow to the chest from an abnormally irritated looking Sirius.

“Actually, I just wanted to go Zonko’s and see if they had anything new. It’s been a whole three days since I’ve had a detention!” He interjected swiftly, lowering himself to sit at Remus’s feet. Had it been anyone else, Remus would most likely have protested, but the position gave him the most wonderful view of Sirius’s hair.

“You must be losing your touch!” Remus teased, trying to steer the conversation away from his disastrous date and the dangerous territory surrounding it “Quick, better go and hex someone!”

Sirius tilted his head pensively, “You know, that’s not actually a bad idea. I haven’t hexed Snivelly in a while!”

“I’m not serious!” Remus protested, trying to back-pedal. It was never a wise plan to implant ideas like that into his friends’ heads.

“No, _I’m_ Sirius!” The boy in question rose to the occasion, earning himself a collective sigh from the rest of the marauders.

“And on that glorious note, I think we should go to dinner!” James chuckled.


	2. A Little Too Much Mischief

Remus flopped down onto his bed with a sigh, resting his head on the pillow.  
“Oi, don’t go to sleep on me! You promised you’d help with the map again tonight,” Sirius flung himself onto the mattress, the springs almost sending its initial occupant flying.  
“But I’m tired, get James to help you!” The taller boy groaned, rolling away from his gangly-limbed assailant and burying his face in his pillow.  
“Is James a Charms whiz?” Sirius opted for flattery, “Is James my marvellously clever, book-loving Moony?”  
Remus flushed scarlet, and found himself very glad that his face was hidden. “Piss off Sirius,” He grumbled, glancing up when he heard the door heralding the return of Peter and James.  
“You’re not going to sleep, are you Remus?” Peter asked anxiously as soon as he entered the dorm, “Because Lily’s waiting downstairs for you to go and do patrol with her,”  
Remus sat up reluctantly, having entirely forgotten about that particular prefect duty. “Ah, that would explain why James looks like someone’s performed a spectacular Cheering Charm on him,” he remarked dryly, holding up his hands in mock surrender when the boy in question made a play of reaching for his wand.  
“It’s fine Moony, we’ll just get up to lots of mischief. Who knows what could happen without you around to keep us in check?” James raised his eyebrows at Sirius, and then again at Peter.  
“Oh Merlin, what do you three have planned?” Remus asked as he headed for the common room door. Sirius opened his mouth to answer, but Remus raised a hand, “Don’t tell me!” 

Remus made his way down the stairs to the common room where Lily was sat on one of the leather sofas, folded arms betraying her impatience. “I thought you’d forgotten,” The red-head complained, and Remus was about to hang his head and apologise when she turned to face him, revealing a teasing grin.  
“I had actually, I was about to go to sleep when Peter came up and reminded me,” He confessed with a short laugh.  
Lily got to her feet, her tone becoming serious, “Good thing he did, I wouldn’t want to be wandering round the corridors by myself at the moment,”  
“I know the Slytherins are being prats about the whole muggleborn thing, but Dumbledore wouldn’t actually let anything happen to you,” Remus reassured her weakly, not even managing to convince himself.  
“Yes, well, not everyone’s as tolerant as you,” Lily sighed, “To some people ‘the whole muggleborn thing’ is a big deal,”  
“I think it would be a bit hypocritical of me to be intolerant, given the whole werewolf thing,” Remus pointed out diplomatically.  
“True,” Lily nodded, “This is nothing on the sort of prejudice you’d face if anyone found out,”  
There was a short lull in conversation as the pair began to patrol the corridors, keeping an eye out for anyone out after curfew. There were the usual selection of younger students who’d ‘lost track of the time’ (a case they argued with varying degrees of convincingness), as well as a fourth year couple taking advantage of an empty classroom, and they were all swiftly dispatched to the relevant dormitories, but overall it was a quiet night on the miscreant front.

It was Lily who eventually sliced through the companionable silence, as they walked along the corridors back towards Gryffindor Tower.  
“Marlene told me about your date,” She said slowly. There was nothing about her words to suggest that Marlene had shared anything other than the party line, but there was something slightly disquieting in her facial expression which caused Remus’s heart to start hammering in his chest. He tried to calm himself with the knowledge that Marlene and Lily were fairly good friends, it was only natural Marlene would have mentioned something to her.  
“Oh really?” He asked, trying to appear casual, “What did she say?”  
“Well, she said that you were a nice boy but that you didn’t really think she was your type,” Lily answered, her reply allowing Remus to release a breath that he didn’t even realise he had been holding.  
“Well, that’s pretty much all that happened,” Remus shrugged, continuing to feign nonchalance, “It wasn’t really very exciting.”  
“Remus…” Lily ground to a halt, wringing her hands slightly, “She also told me that… she said you were gay,”  
She had delivered the blow softly, but it left Remus reeling.  
“I- oh shit,” Remus choked on his words, scrabbling round his brain for anything longer than four letters, eventually settling lamely on, “She wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.” Had it been anyone else, Remus would have denied it vehemently, but Lily was quite possibly the most tolerant person he had ever met, and on this occasion, she definitely lived up to her reputation.  
“You know I won’t say anything,” Lily assured him, “But I don’t think it’s going to stay quiet for long Remus. Marlene’s got a big mouth, and I’m not her only ‘best friend’,”  
“No!” Remus practically yelped, before remembering himself and lowering his voice back to an acceptable level “Merlin no, they don’t have any idea,”  
Lily blinked at him for a moment, and he could almost see the cogs in her brain beginning to whir as her perceptive nature began to kick in, “It’s one of them, isn’t it?” She asked quietly, and Remus recoiled.  
“I…” He stammered, wondering again why his verbosity always deserted him when he needed it most.  
“You don’t have to tell them that, but Remus, I think it might be best if they hear about the sexuality situation from you,” Lily smiled at him a little sadly, “You don’t do things by halves, do you?”  
Remus shook his head at her, “Hello, my name is Remus John Lupin and by the way... I’m a gay werewolf,” He sighed bitterly, trying to swallow the knot of fear and shame at the base of his throat “How do I even begin to tell them something like that?”  
Lily shrugged at him as she began to walk again, turning the corner towards Gryffindor tower, “I don’t know, but you’ll have to find a way. Soon.” 

Remus was thankful to find the dormitory dark and silent when he returned, save for the sliver of moonlight peeking through the gap in the curtains, and the rhythmical breathing of his three apparently sleeping room-mates. Biting down hard on his lip at the prospect of confessing his secret to them, he extracted his pyjamas from under his pillow and tiptoed across to the bathroom to change. He was not especially modest, but nor did he enjoy displaying the scars which marred most of his torso unless absolutely necessary, and so he made a habit of changing out of sight. 

When ready, he crept back across the room, not wanting to wake anyone, and began to climb into bed. The moment that he put a little weight on the mattress, it let out a blood-curdling scream. He jumped back with a shout, upon which the screaming promptly stopped. Laughter pealed from the bed opposite him as he stood there, trying to regain control of his nerves. “Very funny James,” He muttered, trying his best not to sound too petulant, “A modified Intruder Charm?”  
“Yep. I told you we’d get up to mischief, didn’t I?” The other boy grinned, “Got you good and proper Moony!”  
Remus had to resist the urge to roll his eyes at him, instead satisfying himself with his patented pursed-lips, “I just want to go to sleep. Can you take it off please?” He grumbled, feeling like he wanted to do nothing more than hit James. Preferably very hard. Or maybe just cry.  
“Someone’s grumpy!” James raised an eyebrow, “Maybe I don’t know how to take it off?”  
“Oh for fu…” Remus began, but he was cut off by the sound of Sirius sleepily muttering the counter-charm.  
“Can’t you see he’s not in the mood tonight?” Sirius said, his tone irritable as he sat up a little in his bed to glare at James. Remus nodded his thanks before sliding underneath the covers, closing the curtains around the four-poster with a slightly over aggressive flick of his wand.

It wasn’t until around half an hour later, when he was entirely sure that his roommates were actually asleep, that Remus allowed himself to let the tears flow. Why couldn’t he just be normal? He forced himself to stifle his increasingly violent sobs; a task which was not easily accomplished. The gravity of his current situation continued to weigh on him, pressing down on his chest and depriving him of air. Suddenly, he felt a weight settling softly at the end of his bed, and he glanced up, eyes pink rimmed. Sirius was sat there, cross-legged and looking at him with increasing concern. “You ok Moony?” He asked quietly. There was something odd about the role reversal, it was always Remus who went to Sirius: when he returned at the start of each term with the light snuffed out of his eyes, a collection of fresh injuries, and a renewed ‘fuck the world’ attitude. When he received a Howler from home containing words that Remus had never even heard spoken aloud before. When his little brother came to him and spat out sentences so full of learned hatred and preconditioned prejudice that they made even James wince.  
Remus tried to dab at his eyes in the most surreptitious way possible “I’m fine,”  
“Unless you’ve been hit with a Conjunctivitis Curse, you’re lying to me,” Sirius met his gaze with a slight frown.  
“I’ve just had an extraordinarily terrible day, and I just want to go to sleep and forget it all,” Remus admitted, endeavouring to sound as light-hearted as possible.  
Sirius tilted his head, looking a bit perplexed, “Was the date with Marlene really that bad?”  
The taller boy let out a long exhalation, running a hand through his hair, “Yes, yes, it really was,”  
“Were you just being a socially inept git, or did something actually happen?”  
“I was just being a socially inept git,” Remus lied bravely. Now was definitely not the time to tell the truth, not when one of the major contributing factors to all this trouble was practically sat on him.  
Sirius opened his mouth slightly, as if about to protest, but then he closed it again, and the pair sat in silence for a few moments.  
“I hate to sound like a bleeding girl- but you know you can tell me anything, right, Moons?” Sirius eventually pressed gently, still looking concerned.  
Remus nodded weakly, “I know, but there’s nothing to tell! I’m just being daft.”  
“As long as you’re sure you’re alright, I should go and get some sleep,” Sirius slid off the bed, “Our arsehole of a Quidditch Captain has scheduled practice for an entirely inhumane hour tomorrow!”  
Remus gave the tiniest of grins in spite of himself, “Go on then, I’d hate for you to be so sleep deprived you fall from your broom. What would James do without his Seeker?”  
“Night Moony,” Sirius whispered as he disappeared through the curtains and back towards his own bed.  
“Night Pads,” Remus replied. It wasn’t until several hours later that exhaustion from the day’s events finally overcame him, and that he at last allowed sleep to draw him into its grasp.


	3. It's All Downhill From Here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's read this so far. Just wanted to reiterate the trigger warning for homophobic (and otherwise abusive/strong) language as this chapter is where the main bulk of it lies.

Remus woke late to an empty dormitory, his roommates evidently either at breakfast or out on the Quidditch pitch. He lay under the covers for a while, basking in the warmth and taking advantage of the rare silence. It would be best, he thought, if he could just stay here forever, comfortable and alone. Unfortunately for Remus, this was not possible, and when he realised that his stomach was voicing its complaints regarding its current empty state, he dragged himself from his cocoon, shivering in the comparatively cool March air. He showered and dressed, pausing for a moment on his way out of the bathroom to survey himself in the mirror- a decision he regretted when he saw how utterly terrible he looked. He was even paler than usual; the dark circles under his eyes were even more pronounced than usual after the stress of the previous day, and thanks to the approaching full moon.   
After he had combed his hair into reasonable submission, he walked down the quiet corridors towards the Great Hall, in search of food, and quite possibly Peter.  
As he approached the hall, the sound of chatter from the students congregated there drifted towards him. There was normally something comforting about the hubbub, but today Remus imagined that it had an urgent, almost conspiratorial edge to it, and he began to feel oddly apprehensive. He told himself to stop being such a prat, and began to make his way towards the Gryffindor table, with his hands shoved into his pockets and his head held high.  
Immediately, he knew that his gut instinct had been correct, and that he had just made the wrong decision. As he walked, a strange hush fell upon the hall and he could practically feel the eyes boring into his back. As he took his seat at the table beside Peter, several of the surrounding students were apparently gripped by some urgent need to leave, as there was what Remus could only describe as a small exodus.   
“Morning Remus,” Peter looked up from the veritable mountain of food in front of him, and his tone was so comfortingly normal that Remus could almost convince himself that he was just being paranoid. Almost.  
“Fucking poof!” He heard a sharp hiss from behind him, before an elbow connected painfully with the small of his back. Trying not to wince, he turned around, finding himself glaring at Mulciber, who was accompanied by a sullen-looking Avery.  
“What did you just call me?” He asked quietly, cheeks burning.  
“A fucking poof. A queen. A fairy. However I put it, it’s what you are, isn’t it?” Mulciber replied, his tone cool and his expression challenging.  
“I don’t know what you’re blathering on about now, but then I don’t speak ape,” Remus replied bravely, holding his antagonist’s gaze levelly.  
Peter got to his feet, abandoning his breakfast in defence of his friend, “Bugger off Mulciber,”  
Mulciber’s features twisted into a sneer, “Oh, how sweet. You standing up for your boyfriend, Pettigrew?”   
“No…I’m not…” Peter stammered, colouring rapidly.  
“If you’re not a poof, then why do you go around with one?” Avery interjected, “I don’t know how you can bear it. He’s an abomination.”   
Remus drew his wand, jaw clenched; every one of their words felt like a Stinging Hex.   
“Now, now, we have an audience!” Chided Mulciber, inclining his head towards the staff table before leaning in close to Remus, “Freaks like you shouldn’t be allowed to come to Hogwarts. Better watch your back from now on.”   
The pair then strode away virtually in unison, leaving Remus shaking with a mixture of rage, horror and disbelief.   
“How did they… what the…does bloody everyone know?” He choked out eventually, blinking back tears.   
Peter returned to his seat, seeming unconcerned by the whole affair, “Not everyone, but it’s definitely going round. You know what this place is like for gossip,” He said carefully, apparently trying to gauge Remus’s mental state.  
As it happened, it was definitely not a good one at that point in time, “James… Sirius…?” He asked desperately, feeling oddly as if this were all just some bad dream.  
“Not when I saw them, but I’ve got to be honest, they probably will by the time they get back from practice,” Peter answered mid-mouthful. Remus rubbed his face with his palms, trying to process everything, to make sense of the chaos his life had just been thrown into.   
A sudden, thought inspired a little hope, “And you- you don’t care?”  
“Not really,” Peter shrugged, “You’re still Moony, no matter whether you like boys or girls,”   
Remus nodded, “It’s good to know I’ll still have someone left.”

Once Remus had nibbled at the corner of a single slice of toast, too agitated to eat much, and Peter had worked his way through the small pile of bacon in front of him, the pair made their way back to the dormitory. The hallways were more crowded now, and Remus found himself on the receiving end of countless curious stares, as well as multiple muttered slurs. Nobody had Mulciber and Avery’s audacity though; Remus could only assume that it was his status as best friend of the two most popular boys in the school which kept him protected. For now.   
Remus and Peter were not usually especially close- James and Sirius formed the glue that held the group together- but today there was something more companionable about their silence as they sat on their respective beds: Peter working his way through a backlog of homework, and Remus attempting unsuccessfully to read. His mind kept drifting and his left leg beat a frenetic pattern on the bedclothes as he was increasingly consumed by anxiety regarding his friends’ return.

 

After a few minutes, the door flew open. Peter glanced up anxiously as James burst in- eyes blazing and wand drawn. “What the actual hell, Remus?”   
“I…” Remus stammered, digging his nails hard into the skin of his palms and gritting his teeth.  
James gave him a look which almost bordered on disgust, “Why did I have to find out from some prat in third year?”   
“I was going to tell you, honestly, I was! I just…” Remus trailed off, stricken.  
“Decided to make me look like a twat in front of the entire Quidditch team?” James gave a hollow, bitter laugh.  
Remus looked at James pleadingly, silently begging him to stop, “I didn’t mean for anybody to find out!”  
“Oh, so we’re keeping secrets now, are we?” For a split second, it looked as if James might be about to hex him, and Remus reached instinctively for his own wand just as the other boy shook his head and turned away, “You know what, you’re just not worth the effort,” He spat, “For fuck’s sake, the whole wolf thing was hard enough, but now I find out you’re a bloody queer as well? Does the word ‘normal’ mean nothing to you?”  
James’s footsteps echoed around Gryffindor Tower as he stomped back down the stairs, still muttering abuse under his breath. Peter scuttled after him, shooting Remus an apologetic look as the door clicked shut behind him. 

The moment that Peter had gone, Remus pulled his knees to his chest and curled up in a ball on his bed, gasping for air and fighting hard to blink back the hot tears which were flooding his eyes. However, his attempt was marked largely by its futility, as just a few seconds later he was sobbing uncontrollably, the shaking of his body so violent that he felt as if he were about to explode. He wanted to rip his hair out, to claw at his skin, to tear himself to shreds for being so pathetic, such a worthless, disgusting freak. Gripped by a sudden resolve, he got to his feet, tears streaming down his cheeks, and began systematically destroying his precious possessions. The record player which his mother had presented to him with such pride on his 15th birthday met the wall with a loud crash. The records which he had saved up for many months to purchase- David Bowie, Fleetwood Mac, Marc Bolan- all followed it, shattering satisfyingly. Next came his books. Each and every one of his beloved books. He tore at the pages in a frenzy, crumpling them, ripping them, severing the covers. These were things that he did not deserve. Then he swept the photograph of his parents off his bedside table; they smiled out at him even from their smashed frame. They wouldn’t be smiling if they knew who he really was, if they could see his state now. The rest of his possessions followed in quick succession. What he couldn’t snap, crush, shatter or otherwise destroy just ended up strewn about him on the floor, and he soon found himself sat trembling in the midst of a sea of broken belongs. He couldn’t help but think that it was quite an apt metaphor for his life.


	4. An Unlikely Saviour

“James better not still be in the sho- “ Sirius began to declare his arrival in his usual brash manner as he flung the door open, but broke off the moment that he stepped into the room and sighted the destruction. Remus suddenly saw himself from the other boy’s perspective; huddled in the midst of such destruction, wide-eyed and tear stained with shredded hands and shaking shoulders. Now he was not only a gay werewolf, he was a mad one. He looked up at Sirius pleadingly, unable to move or even to begin to find the words to explain, and hating the pity which reflected back at him.   
“Bloody hell… Moony…” Sirius began, a slight frown creasing his forehead, and Remus flinched.  
“If you’ve come to tell me what a freak I am, or to call me a queer, or to tell me that I’m not worth the effort- don’t bother. I already know,” He said coldly, wishing that he could just disappear.  
Sirius looked taken aback as he picked his way across the room towards Remus, “That’s not true. None of that’s true. Who’s been telling you that shit?” He asked, visibly trying to control his anger.  
Remus swallowed back the lump rising in his throat, feeling exposed and vulnerable, “Avery, Mulciber, James. Does it even matter? They’re right. There’s something wrong with me,”  
“James? James said that to you?” Sirius blinked at him in shock, looking genuinely hurt. He used his wand to clear a space on the floor, and sat down beside Remus before composing himself, “I don’t think he really meant… I hope he didn’t mean it. I think he was just angry that you didn’t tell us.”   
“I didn’t know myself, not for sure, until yesterday,” Remus replied wearily, not even looking up as Sirius gently took hold of his wrists.  
“Vulnera Sanentur,” Sirius repeated the charm thrice as he drew his wand over each hand, the incantation sounding almost melodic as the deep wounds began to knit together, “Yesterday. With McKinnon?”  
“I told her,” Remus confessed, his tone wrought, “I didn’t know what else to do, she was so hurt when I pushed her away. She promised to keep it a secret.”  
“And then she went around telling half of Hogwarts?” Sirius tilted his head slightly, anger flashing in his eyes.  
“I guess, but it doesn’t matter really, does it? Everyone had to find out what I am at some point,” Remus gave a small, defeated sigh.  
Sirius placed an arm around Remus’s slight frame. “What you are? What you are is the most incredible… most amazing…” He trailed off, before continuing on a new tangent, “You didn’t ask for any of this. McKinnon had no right. James had no right.”  
Remus turned his head to meet his friend’s gaze, “You honestly don’t care? About me being…?”   
“It would be a bit hypocritical if I did,” Sirius chuckled cryptically, suddenly getting to his feet and darting towards the door, “I’ll be back in a bit Moons, there’s something I have to do,” He called over his shoulder. He was gone before Remus could even form the question, leaving him alone again, feeling as if the floorboards of the world had opened up and he was falling through the cracks.

Normality. Remus knew that it was the only thing which would ground him right now, even if he had to falsify it. Sirius was the only person on the planet who he would have allowed to see him in this state- and even then there had been something shameful about it. Forcing himself to take a deep breath, he got to his feet, drew his wand and began to set about righting his belongings, cringing at the damage he was able to do when he got into ‘one of his states’, even in human form. Before long it felt as if “reparo” was the only word in his vocabulary, but there was something oddly soothing about watching all the pieces return to their rightful places, just as there had been something rather cathartic about destroying it. He had no idea that had assistance in his clean-up until his elbow connected with something solid but slightly soft behind him. “Ow, Moony!” A loud voice exclaimed.   
Remus started, realising that it was Sirius, “Merlin, were you trying to give me a heart attack?”  
The other boy paused briefly from his work, “I thought you knew I was in here!”  
“So, where did you go?” Remus probed gently, as he continued to try and reassemble the various parts of his record player.   
Sirius fixed him with that dazzling grin which came so effortlessly to him, using his free hand to push his hair back out of his face, “Shall we just say that McKinnon’s pretty face isn’t quite so pretty now. She seems to have developed a terrible outbreak of boils! I have detention every night this week as well, which helps with the whole ‘upholding my reputation’ thing.”   
Remus gave the tiniest of smiles, unsure of how to react, “As a prefect, I cannot condone that sort of behaviour. As a proud Marauder, I applaud you.”  
Sirius gave a mock bow, fixing the final poster back onto the wall with an extra flourish, “I talked to James too. He’s still being a bit of a twat but I think he’ll come round. I just told him that if he had a problem with you, then he had a problem with me.”   
“I…” Remus steeled himself, taking in a deep breath. It had been playing on his mind since Sirius left so hastily, his hurried words still hanging in the air, “Sirius, what exactly did you mean? When you talked about being a hypocrite?” He tried to keep his tone light and casual, but the moment he finished his query, he realised that he might not really want to hear the answer.  
A long moment passed before the other boy slowly turned to face him, an uncharacteristic blush gracing his pronounced cheekbones as those piercing grey eyes stared into his, “I’ll leave the words to you. But I will say that I’ve wanted to do this for a very long time,”   
“Do what?” Remus asked anxiously, his mind racing with the various possibilities, but –as promised- the answer to his question did not come verbally. Instead it came in the form of Sirius’s lips meeting his. For a moment, Remus stood there stunned and unresponsive, convinced that he must have slipped into a bizarre parallel universe, but then he realised that it didn’t really matter what universe he was in- this was happening in at least one of them. Right here, right now, Sirius Black was kissing him.  
The rain kept beating against the window, and the storm kept raging outside in the grounds, but the pair felt like their world had turned upside down. The school could have burned down and they would not have noticed, for they were entirely caught up in this moment which contained the most potent sort of magic. Remus moved his lips hesitantly at first, but as he grew in confidence he found a new urgency, and he found himself pulling Sirius closer, hands knotted in his perpetually messy black hair. The other boy reciprocated, pulling him even closer, until Remus found himself pressed against him in such a way that he could almost feel the thrumming of Sirius’s heart against his chest. He paused slightly as he felt Sirius’s tongue gently brush his lips, timidly asking permission to cross the wide crevasse between innocent teenage experimentation and something more, something serious- the prospect of which both exhilarated and terrified him. Uncertainty returning, Remus parted them only slightly, tasting the sweetness of Sirius’s mouth for the first time. He found something sweet there, like honey or brown sugar, but also something darker and more exciting, like sips of liquor stolen in the dead of night, or the remnants of cigarette smoke.   
It was only the sound of footsteps on the stairs which caused them to break apart, both breathing heavily.   
“You even taste like chocolate,” Sirius murmured, looking at Remus with wonder glistening in his eyes. All Remus could offer in response before Peter came bumbling in was the briefest of foolish nods.   
“You alright lads?” Peter eyed them curiously, “I’m just looking for my Herbology textbook. Don’t you two have homework to do as well?”  
Sirius grinned, “Come on Wormy, should know by now that I just do it all five minutes before it’s due, while our perfect prefect here does it all the night it’s set.”   
“Not always…” Remus began to protest, trying to protect his image, but Sirius fixed him with a smirk and he found himself silenced. There was an uncomfortable atmosphere in the room for a few minutes while Peter rifled through his belongings, eventually finding the relevant book under his bed.   
“Oh, and James wants you to have a look at the map,” Peter addressed Sirius offhandedly as he left the room, “He’s managed to do that Homenum Revelio thing, but apparently it’s done something rather odd to the tracking charm,”   
“He’d be better off asking Remus,” Sirius said pointedly, “After all, he’s the whiz at that sort of thing,”   
“Er… I did say that, but I don’t think James wants to ask Remus anything at the moment,” Peter shifted uncomfortably. Remus decided that it was probably a good thing that Peter wasn’t a poker player, he was so easy to see through that he was practically transparent.  
“Well, you can tell him that he can fuck his map for all I care, unless he stops being such a bloody bigot!” Sirius snapped.  
Peter scuttled from the room, “Right, well, I’ll er… pass on the message.”   
As soon as Peter was safely out of earshot, Remus turned to Sirius, trying to push the desire to seize him and continue what they had started firmly out of his mind, “Sirius, you don’t have to do that,” He said tiredly, moving to sit on his bed.  
The other boy sat beside him, not waiting for an invitation, “Do what?”  
Remus sighed, “Argue with James. You two are best friends, I don’t want to ruin that by being…”  
Sirius cut across him massively, “By being yourself? Because I had no idea that my ‘best friend’ was such an intolerant twat!”   
“Sirius, why are you even doing this? You like girls, for Merlin’s sake. I’m fairly sure you’ve slept with a quarter the school’s female population!” Remus’s fraying temper finally gave way as his insecurity and anxiety of the better of him, “Have you run out of girls to fuck, so decided to give the guys a try? Is it going to be Peter next week? ”   
The moment the words left his mouth, he wished he could snatch them back. When he saw the look on Sirius’s face, he wished he could crawl into a hole somewhere and die.  
He had expected anger, sharp retaliation. He hadn’t expected pain, “How could you even think that, Moony?” Sirius bit out thickly, “I like girls, yes, but I…” He paused, clearly preparing to make the admission aloud for what Remus assumed would be the first time in his life, “I like boys too. I have done for as long as I can remember! So when James says these things about you, it makes me wonder if he’d think that about me, too.”   
“Oh,” Remus felt like he had just been crushed under a very heavy weight, the air sucked out of his lungs.  
“You know, I should have realised you were gay a long time ago,” Sirius grinned in anticipation of the cheap shot, “What kind of straight teenage boy wears cardigans?”   
Remus opened his mouth to defend his cardigan-wearing honour, but he didn’t have time to form an adequate response before Sirius was pushing him back on the bed. The kiss held a different kind of magic to the first. It was a magic that came from the tangling of un-coordinated boy limbs and the knocking of noses in feverish urgency, but it was magic all the same: just not the type that they taught in lessons.


	5. From Bad, to Better, to Worse

The next three days leading up to the full moon passed relatively uneventfully for Remus, considering the turmoil which his revelation had placed the friendship group into. James was forced to tolerate his presence, even if this took the form of largely ignoring him. He was the target of endless homophobic slurs in the corridors between lessons, but nothing more serious save for a handful of apparently empty threats from Mulciber and the other Slytherins of his ilk. Lily and Peter continued to be friendly and quietly accepting. As for Sirius, his relationship with Sirius was the only thing which could not be classed as uneventful. In public, they were still nothing more than close friends- largely at Remus’s insistence. However, between themselves, in snatched moments of privacy, there were more kisses. Many more. They ranged from furtive brushes of the lips first thing in the morning, to deeper, passionate caresses late at night- and he had pulled Sirius into empty corners on at least two occasions. Everything remained chaste and careful, due in no small part to Remus’s reluctance to allow the other boy to so much as catch a glimpse of the scars which stretched across his torso, but there was always the promise of something else to come.

“What are you doing over the Easter holidays Pads?” James asked carefully. The quartet were sat at the breakfast table, although Remus wasn’t eating. It was the full moon that night, and as often happened, he was running a light fever. Nobody had ever been sure if it was a psychological anticipatory response, or something physiological as his body prepared for the change, but either way, he always felt like crap as the full moon approached.  
“My parents want me home,” Sirius muttered in response, pushing his food around his plate.   
For the briefest of moments, Remus could have sworn that James’s eyes flickered to his as they flashed with concern.  
“You know you’re always welcome at mine, right?” James was clearly attempting to sound light hearted, but his tone was taut with worry, “Sometimes I think my mum forgets which one of us she gave birth to!”   
“That wasn’t a mental image I needed this early in the morning,” Peter groaned.  
Sirius placed his cutlery down as if it might detonate, “I’ll be fine. It’s only for a week.” His tone clearly conveyed that this particular conversation was over.  
Although not exactly the master of tact, Peter managed to steer the exchange into different, albeit possibly equally as dangerous waters, “Remus, are you alright? You look a bit…” He waved his hand around vaguely in a manner which Remus could only assume meant ‘shit’.  
He forced a weak smile, feeling Sirius’s knee gently brush his underneath the table, “I was hoping to get to lessons today but I think I’m going to have to admit defeat.”  
“What are you doing tonight?” Sirius suddenly rounded on James. His manner was not aggressive, but there was certainly something over-forceful about it.  
James frowned slightly, “What do you mean?”   
“Well, I was just wondering if your new policy of completely ignoring Remus for the vast majority of the time extended to fulls?” Sirius probed, his line of questioning making Peter visibly uncomfortable.  
James looked a bit taken aback, “I hadn’t really thought about it. Guess it depends if Remus thinks it’ll be safe for me to there, I don’t want to end up as wolf chow.”   
“It’s never safe for any of you to be there,” Remus answered bluntly, “But the more of you there are, the less chance there is of Siri- someone getting hurt.”  
Peter finished his plate and pushed it away decisively, “That’s settled then,” He said, clearly relieved that at least a small amount of the discord among his friends seemed to have been resolved. 

Remus followed the others back up to the common room, taking a seat on his bed as they gathered the necessary items for that day’s lessons. “Do you want me to walk you to the hospital wing Moony?” Sirius asked, briefly raising his eyebrows in an almost outrageously flirtatious manner.  
“Yeah,” Remus began to get to his feet slowly, “As long as it won’t make you late,”   
“Since when have I ever worried about being late?” Sirius pointed out dryly, waiting for James and Peter to leave the room before moving to take Remus’s hand, “Merlin, you’re hot!”  
Remus gave him a slightly bemused look, “Is the fever-flushed face really that much of a good look for me?”  
Sirius cracked a smile, “Come on you prat, before you start hallucinating,”   
“What, you mean there isn’t really a troll stood in the doorway?” Remus laughed weakly, earning himself a very odd look from Sirius, who apparently could not ascertain if he was joking or not.   
“Let’s get you to Madam Pomfrey,” The shorter boy rolled his eyes in a way that could almost have been described as indulgent as the pair made their across the castle to the hospital wing.   
Sirius ground to a halt just outside the entrance, “And this is where I leave you. I don’t think my eardrums can stand the old bat’s moaning this early in the morning,”  
“She’s hardly old,” Remus pointed out sensibly, “I don’t think she can be much more than twenty five,”  
“Ever the pedant, aren’t you?” Sirius noted. Remus was just about to open his mouth to protest, when he noted the slight tautness of worry in Sirius’s facial expression, and decided to put an end to it using his lips- public location be damned.  
It was Sirius who eventually broke away, “Sorry Moons, but I don’t think Professor McGonagall is going to accept ‘sorry, I was snogging my boyf- Remus Lupin outside the hospital wing’ as an acceptable excuse for me missing her entire lesson,”   
“I suppose not,” Remus smiled stupidly at the fact that Sirius had almost described him as his boyfriend. He had always dismissed the expression ‘weak at the knees’ as being just that, an expression, but he was beginning to wonder if there was some truth to it. Or maybe it was just his steadily climbing body temperature.

Sirius stood outside in the damp air of the March morning, staring blankly into the distance; a cigarette hung limply in his hand, gradually staining his fingers yellow with the nicotine, but rarely being lifted to his mouth. James stood beside him with the same demeanour, shoulders hunched and with an expression almost the mirror image. His left arm had been hastily bandaged, and he clutched a cigarette in his right, taking drags of it at sporadic intervals. This, thought Sirius, was an indicator of how bad things truly were. James always refused his offers, usually remarking “those things will kill you, you know”, but today he had accepted it wordlessly.   
Sirius wanted to talk, but he couldn’t articulate the visions that were swimming around his head, the ones which he knew James shared. There had been so much blood, too much blood, more than he had ever seen in his life, and the figure lying on the floor had barely been recognisable as Remus. Having to leave him there like that was one of the hardest things Sirius had ever done.  
“It’s our job to protect him, that was the whole point of this, and we fucked up,” James muttered, a hardness to his tone which Sirius had never heard before, “We couldn’t even protect him from himself.”   
Sirius kept his gaze fixed directly ahead, unable to think of anything to offer but, “I know,”   
The pair fell back into quiet, only the sound of Sirius scuffing his heavy boot along the ground breaking the silence, before James spoke up carefully, turning to look up at Sirius with pain in his eyes, “This was my fault, wasn’t it?”   
Sirius knew that he was looking for reassurance, for extenuation, to be found not guilty of his crimes, but he found himself unable to provide it. His best friend, his boyfriend, the boy he loved… whatever label you wanted to apply to it, was dying. “Yes,” He muttered, “At least partly,”  
“I just,” James took a deep drag of his cigarette, “You and Peter are so ok with it, but I just can’t get my head around it. It just seems so wrong.”   
Sirius couldn’t resist a wry smile, despite the anger and despair which twisted inside his stomach, “Before I came to Hogwarts, I’d spent my entire life being pumped full of anti-muggleborn propaganda. And so when I first met them, I was prepared to hate them, for them to be something bloody disgusting. Only I didn’t hate them. They weren’t disgusting. They were just people like me.” He sighed, “It freaked me out at first, but as I spent more time around them, I realised I had to get over my prejudice. So I did.”   
James ran a hand through his hair, “I’m being a dick, aren’t I?”   
Sirius nodded slowly, “I was going to go for twat, but I think that just about covers it,” His heartrate picked up slightly as he wondered if now would be an acceptable time to come out to his friend, or whether that would just push everything over the edge.  
Mercifully, James changed the subject, although it was not onto anything altogether more comfortable, “Pads, why don’t you come back to mine tomorrow and stay for the holidays? Then you don’t have to go home.”  
Home. The suffocating old house full of shadows and silence and sharp blows, Sirius’s own personal Azkaban. Why did his friends always have to bring it up? Talking about it at Hogwarts was like poisoning the antidote, like blood soaking through clean white bandages.  
“No, thanks,” He tried to shrug it off, but there was something brittle about the smile he forced, “It’s only for a week, and my presence has been specifically requested by brother dearest.”   
James looked as if he was about to push the point further, but they were interrupted by Peter hurrying towards them. Fear sliced through Sirius as the boy approached, fear that he was bringing bad news, the worst imaginable.  
“What is it, Peter?” He bit out, feeling a little guilty as Peter baulked at the sharpness of his tone.  
“Madam Pomfrey says we can go in and see him,” Peter announced carefully. James and Sirius exchanged a glance and immediately began striding off towards the hospital wing, steps virtually in sync. Bile rose in Sirius’s throat as he grappled with his dread, and he struggled to retain a rational view of things. Surely Madam Pomfrey wouldn’t have given them permission to visit if Remus was really seriously hurt?  
“Although we can’t stay long and we’ll have to leave if there’s any ‘nonsense’!” Peter added as he desperately hurried to catch up, his short legs struggling to match the other boys’ pace.


	6. Firewhisky Makes the Best Medicine

Sirius hesitated at the door to the hospital wing, hand hovering over the doorknob as apprehension bubbled in his stomach. “Alright, mate?” James gave him a questioning look as he gently pushed past, doing what Sirius could not and stepping into the room. Taking a deep breath, Sirius followed him, hearing Peter’s approaching footsteps behind him. Madam Pomfrey bustled over immediately, casting a slightly nervous glance behind her shoulder at the curtains drawn around the bed in the far corner.  
“You can have five minutes,” She said briskly, eyes moving suspiciously over the three boys, “I wouldn’t ordinarily have let you in, but he’s been asking for you almost non-stop since he woke up.”  
Sirius flashed her his most winning smile, “Thanks Poppy,” He said, projecting that arrogant exterior which was so at odds with the boy within.  
“Madam Pomfrey… not really appropriate…” The woman spluttered weakly, clearly too accustomed to James and Sirius’s ways to be truly outraged. Her expression then softened slightly and she addressed the boys in a low voice, “Before you go in… I’ve healed his face as best as I can but he’ll always have the scars… please exercise some tact,”  
She then stepped aside, leaving the trio to approach cautiously; James lead the way, drawing aside the curtain slightly to reveal a very pale Remus gingerly sipping a foul smelling potion. Sirius’s eyes roamed over him frantically, taking in every little detail, from the normality of thick grey jumper which swamped him, to the oddity of the puckered pink lines which stretched across his face.  
Remus gave a weak smile upon seeing them, “Guess I won’t be on the front cover of Witch Weekly any time soon,” he joked, but there was a vulnerability in his eyes which made Sirius wince.  
“I hate to break it to you Moony, but you were never top candidate for that anyway,” James shook his head mock-seriously, “Obviously it was always going to be me.”  
“It doesn’t look that bad anyway,” Peter chipped in, and Sirius found himself agreeing with him. The scars lent a sort of ruggedness to Remus’s quietly innocent face, and it suited him.  
“Very punk rock,” Sirius nodded, lowering himself with uncharacteristic gentleness onto the end of Remus’s bed- his usual boisterous, over exaggerated movements had no place here.  
“Whatever,” Remus rolled his eyes, “Did you bring me chocolate? These potions never taste any better, regardless of how many times she makes me drink them.”  
James looked genuinely apologetic, “Sorry mate, no chocolate. We thought our wonderful presence would be comfort enough.”  
Sirius watched as Remus’s eyes fell upon the bandages on James’s arm before widening a little further. Clearly the faux jollity was over.  
“Did I… was that me?” Remus swallowed hard, and Sirius had to stop himself from moving to physically comfort him.  
James nodded, “Last night was bad, Moony. The wolf was just tearing at itself, and there was nothing we could do to stop it: it knocked me over accidentally when I got in the way. It’s not your fault.”  
“I hurt you.” Remus muttered miserably, shame and self-disgust written across his face. Sirius wanted nothing more in that moment than to take him in his arms, instead having to placate himself with the thought that there would be the opportunity to do that on many other occasions.  
“I think I’ll survive the grievous injury,” James grinned, “If I’m really lucky, I might get a macho scar. Then Evans would have to be impressed!”  
“You can tell her you got it wrestling werewolves,” Remus gave a weary smile, clearly too tired to contradict James’s unabashed optimism, “That will really impress her,”  
The curtain moved aside and Madam Pomfrey stepped into the middle of the little gathering , “That’s enough now, Mr Lupin needs to rest, and you should all be on your way to your classes,”  
The trio began to leave reluctantly, Sirius trying his best to hang back a little in the hopes of snatching a few moments alone with Remus.  
“We’ll be back up to see you this evening, even if we have to use the cloak,” James’s eyes practically lit up with the prospect of mischief for a good cause.  
“Bring chocolate,” was Remus’s only reply, although he did make an abortive attempt at his carefully mastered disapproving expression.  
The moment that James and Peter had disappeared from view, Sirius surged forward, pressing his lips to Remus’s jawline.  
“Your hair smells of cigarette smoke,” Remus muttered somewhat reproachfully, even as he hauled himself into a sitting position to accept Sirius’s gentle embrace.  
“Take it easy Moony,” Sirius cautioned, pushing a strand of Remus’s hair out of his face. This prompted a derisive snort of laughter, “Since when have you ever told anyone to take it easy?”  
“Since you,” Sirius paused to press a parting kiss to Remus’s hairline, painfully aware that James or Peter could come back in at any moment, “Started getting reckless.”  
“You’re practically the epitome of recklessness,” Remus countered,  
“I know. I pride myself on it,” Sirius smirked, “But that’s why I need you to be your usual level-headed self, to prevent me from crossing the line into stupidity,”  
“I think you’ll find that you crossed that line a long time ago!” Remus called after him as he stepped back through the curtain into the real world. 

Sirius glanced up from his packing, which could probably have been more accurately described as throwing things arbitrarily into a small bag, at the sound of the door opening. The prospect of leaving for home the next morning was causing a faint nausea to rise in his stomach, and the atmosphere in the dormitory was unusually subdued as the boys carried out their respective activities in preparation for the week’s holiday, moonlight streaming in through the window  
“Moony, you’re out!” Peter exclaimed, practically flinging himself towards the pale boy standing in the doorway, but stopping short when he apparently took notice of just how unsteady he looked.  
“I need to pack,” Remus offered by way of quiet explanation, making his way into the room at a painfully slow pace.  
Sirius frowned slightly, “Sit down, I’ll come and help.”  
James let out a short laugh, “Steady on mate, you feeling alright?”  
Remus apparently shared the same view, as he eyed the higgledy-piggledy state of Sirius’s rucksack with something which bordered on disgust, “Judging by your packing abilities, I think the only thing you would be able to do is come and hinder.”  
A witty response formed at the base of Sirius’s throat, but the knot of growing nerves there prevented it from escaping, “Alright then, I was only offering,” He shrugged, before returning to his packing, casting the room into silence. James and Peter exchanged looks behind his back.  
“Aha, I knew this was in here somewhere!” James pronounced a few minutes later, holding a brown paper bag aloft like a trophy.  
Remus groaned, “Please don’t tell me that’s what I think it is.”  
“Firewhisky!” James crowed, “Come on, let’s celebrate the end of term in style!”  
Sirius brightened up considerably at the sight of the alcohol. It perhaps wasn’t the best plan to face his family hungover, but he deserved some happiness while he could get it.  
“James, my man, you are an utter genius!” Sirius proclaimed.  
“Don’t stoke his ego too much, his head might explode,” Remus muttered, folding one of his many jumpers into his suitcase.  
James was the first to initiate the drinking, removing the cork from the bottle with a flick of his wand and taking a swig.  
“I take it you want some then Pads?” James tried in vain to disguise his cough with a laugh as he handed a bottle to Sirius, “What about you Wormy?”  
Peter nodded, looking a little uncertain as he lifted the potent liquid towards his lips, as always, but Sirius knew that he would likely outdrink James- who was something of a closet lightweight- by the end of the night.  
“Where’s mine?” Remus protested, and Sirius exchanged a significant look with James.  
“Are you sure you should be drinking tonight Moony?” James asked delicately, having understood the meaning behind Sirius’s slight frown. The pair practically had an entire non-verbal language of their own after all the years of partnership in crime.  
Remus raised his eyebrows, “What are you, my mother?”  
James gasped, “Sirius, the secret’s out!”  
“What are we going to do? Quick, obliviate him!” Sirius teased, rolling his eyes at Remus indulgently.  
“Just give me the damn firewhiskey,” Remus growled, trying to make a lunge for it and nearly ending up on the floor.  
“Give it to him before he injures himself,” Peter snorted, “He’s hardly likely to get sloshed.”  
Remus smiled “Thank you Peter, a voice of reason!”  
Before anyone had time to react, Sirius snatched a bottle from the bag and threw it in Remus’s direction. The last thing he was expecting was for it to be caught.  
“That could have ended badly,” Remus commented dryly as he took a sip, “Unlike you lot, I’ll make this last all night.”  
“Who are you and what have you done with Remus Lupin?” James chuckled in disbelief, “Because last time I checked, he didn’t have any reflexes.”  
“I didn’t really want firewhiskey all over my suitcase,” Remus looked almost as shocked as Sirius felt, “Mainly because my real mother would smell it and murder me,”  
Sirius lifted his bottle to take another mouthful, and was vaguely surprised to find it empty already. At least that explained the incipient fuzziness clouding his thoughts.  
“Pass me another one, Prongs,” Sirius commanded, and James threw a bottle to him, not even doubting his ability to catch it despite his growingly intoxicated state.  
“I’m now going to drink an entire bottle of firewhiskey in under a minute,” Sirius declared, choosing to ignore the fact that even James groaned at this pronouncement.  
“No,” Remus said simply, “No, you’re not going to do that Sirius, because even if you don’t succeed in choking yourself, you will then be so drunk that you will fall off the astronomy tower and die.”  
“Oh really?” Sirius cast a challenging grin at him before tipping his head back and emptying the bottle of Firewhiskey down his throat, the other three boys watching in a mixture of horror and amused fascination.  
He eventually emerged for air, the bottle drained, but spluttering frantically, “Oh Merlin, my throat is burning,” He gasped.  
Remus handed him a glass of water with a smug expression, “Not as much as your pride.”  
James gave a roar of laughter, “You’re funny when you’re tipsy Moons, I always forget that.”  
“I bet you I can drink two bottles in under a minute!” Peter piped up enthusiastically. Sirius sighed. It was going to be a long night. 

Four hours later, on the wrong side of midnight, Sirius was well and truly sloshed. James and Peter had retreated to bed in varying states of inebriation; the room still smelt faintly of Peter’s vomit, despite Remus’s best efforts to clear it up, and of the Filibuster’s firework that James had ill-advisedly set off during the euphoric state he always managed to achieve after one bottle too many.  
Remus was propped up on the floor, leaning against the foot of his bed with a world-weary expression. He eyed Sirius with amusement, “Shouldn’t you be comatose by now?”  
“I can handle my firewhiskey, Moony” Sirius insisted, trying to enunciate his words as clearly as possible- with little success- as he lurched a little unsteadily across the room and plonked himself down beside Remus.  
“Clearly,” Remus remarked wryly, shuffling aside slightly, “If you throw up on me, I’ll kill you. Both slowly and painfully. Please consider yourself warned.”  
“I’m not going to throw up on you. I’m fine. Hardly even drunk,” Sirius protested, resting his head on Remus’s shoulder. When the other boy made no attempt to move away or to vocalise of complaint, Sirius snuggled into him slightly. It was odd, he thought, how a boy who was all bones and sharp angles favoured such soft, warm jumpers.  
“You put away five bottles of firewhiskey. I would therefore argue that you’re not just drunk, you’re absolutely plastered,” Remus muttered sleepily, laying his head on Sirius’s, “You’re so going to regret this tomorrow. Or later today actually, I suppose.”  
“I should have saved a bottle. Facing my family hungover is going to be an interesting form of entertainment,” Sirius groaned, half-closing his eyes.  
Remus slipped an arm round him quietly, and Sirius had to resist the instinct to stiffen- affectionate physical contact still felt so alien to him at times.  
“They hurt you Sirius. Every time you go home, they hurt you, and yet every holiday you go back there,” Remus said, his tone careful and his words carefully selected.  
“Every time I go home, I tell myself that ‘this time will be different’, but it’s never different,” Sirius was ashamed to feel tears welling in his eyes, and he blinked them back furiously, “Why do I keep going back to them Moony?” He asked the question which he could not answer himself, the question which he spent almost every solitary moment agonising over, the question which had been stealing sleep from him for weeks on end. It was not because he thought that the other boy would have an answer, but because he needed to vocalise it, to expel it from his head by any means necessary.  
“Because they’re related to you,” Remus replied, the insightful words which followed confirming to Sirius what he already knew, “But it doesn’t make them family. James is family. His parents are family. Peter is family…”  
“You’re more than family,” Sirius cut across him, pressing a clumsy kiss to Remus’s jawline.  
“Come on Pads, we have to be up again in less than five hours and you need to sleep this off,” Remus gently moved aside, getting to his feet with a wince, “Not to mention the fact that Madam Pomfrey told me to rest,”  
Sirius allowed himself to be escorted over to his bed, where he lay his head on the pillow with a sigh, not anticipating a restful night in any way, shape or form.  
His expectations altered dramatically however, when he felt Remus slid in beside him, the close physical proximity and the steady heartbeat provided a powerful soporific.  
“But what about James and Peter?” He mumbled drowsily, with little conviction.  
“The fact that I’m not drunk is a significant advantage in that respect- I’ll be awake long before you lot,” Remus murmured in response before snuggling as close as his battered form would allow, and within minutes, the two boys were asleep, tangled in each other’s arms; the rise and fall of their chests the only motion in the silent, still dormitory.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little short chapter today, filling in the gap before the next section. This is the only chapter that will be in letter form as I know it's not everybody's cup of tea.

**Dear Moony,**

**I hope you are having a good holiday so far (all three days of it). Ha! Why would anyone live in Wales by choice? By the way, that is a rhetorical question. I do not expect a four foot reply extolling the virtues of rain and sheep. Because although that’s the kind of thing you do for fun, the rest of us have more normal hobbies. Like Quidditch.**

**Anyway, I was wondering if you’d like to come and stay at mine for a few days later in the week? Well, actually, it’s my mother who invited you. Sort of. After Padfoot broke our kitchen table yesterday (Yes, Pads is here, thank Merlin- I’ll leave the gory details of all that to him), she asked, “When is that lovely polite boy coming again? I liked him. Would he like to come and stay this week?”**

**Given the fact that I don’t know anybody else that could possibly be described as polite, I can only assume that she meant you. Of course, I don’t really want you to come and stay, but how could I disappoint my poor mother?**

**I know your parents are ludicrously overprotective, but I’m sure given your gift for flattery and blatant manipulation, you will persuade them to let you come. In case you needed any more incentive, there will be a picnic. With chocolate. Yes, I am aware that it’s March (I can see your disapproving look now), but we will all wear warm clothes.**

**Send me a reply soon, or I will be forced to assume that you have been eaten by sheep, and that would be a tragic fate indeed.**

**Prongs**

_Dear Prongs (and Pads, because I know you’ll be reading this),_

_Wales is, in fact, a wonderful country, and I fear that you have mortally offended the sheep. They will come for you when you are least expecting it._

_I have, with great difficulty, managed to convince my parents to let me come. My father did describe you and Sirius as “delinquents”, but I believe he was only joking (or at least I hope he was), as he has agreed to bring me to your house tomorrow by side-along apparition (apparently the Floo network is too unsafe)._

_Is this alright? I know your mother invited me, but I rather fear that she may have been joking, and I don’t want to impose upon her, or upon your father for that matter._

 

_Moony_

 

**Dear Moony,**

**That’s fine. Has anyone ever told you that you worry too much? See you at about eleven!**

**Prongs**


	8. Meet the Potters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written prior to all the information released on Pottermore regarding James's family, so his parents are written based on the reasonably established fanon.

Remus grappled with a strong wave of nausea as he found himself sprawled on the grass, his father having relinquished his the vice-like grip on his arm a little too soon.   
“Are you alright son?” Lyall asked gruffly, “I know this isn’t exactly your favourite way to travel, but…”  
“The Floo network just isn’t safe at the moment,” Remus sighed a little impatiently, the lingering vertigo making him somewhat irascible as he got back to his feet.   
“Is this really where James lives?” Lyall was evidently trying to change the subject, “I knew they were a wealthy family but…” He waved a gnarled hand around vaguely, indicating the grandiose surroundings, and Remus knew that his father was beginning to feel rather underdressed and out of place, just as he himself had done upon first visiting the Potter’s home. The monetary disparity between his friends’ families and his own was rarely an issue, but at times such as this it was hard to ignore.   
Before Remus could say more, a rather stout woman came hurrying down the long driveway towards them, “Remus, dear! I thought I heard you arrive!” Dorothea pulled Remus into a crushing hug, before stepping back to greet his father, “Lyall, isn’t it? You’re welcome to come in for a bite to eat before apparating back- if you’d like, of course.”  
Lyall gave a stiff smile, “I’d best be off, but thank you for offering,” He turned to Remus, “I’ll see you in the summer. Keep up the good work, and make sure you write. Your mother does love to hear from you,”   
He began to step in for a hug, but twitched his arms back to his side awkwardly, apparently remembering that he was not exactly on the best of terms with his son.  
With a crack, he had vanished back to Wales, and Remus felt as if a weight had been lifted from his chest.  
Dorothea smiled warmly at him, “Come on, let’s get you inside. I’ve got lunch on the stove, and the boys will be so pleased to see you,” Her expression slipped slightly, “Especially Sirius, poor dear- but of course, you don’t know. I’ll leave it to him to tell you,”  
Remus began to wonder exactly what had happened, and for the first time, a small knot of anxiety formed in his chest as he pondered the various possibilities. He moved to pick up his bag, but Dorothea blocked him gently, “One of the house elves will get it for you, dear.” 

Remus brushed the mud off his feet before he stepped into the large wood panelled hallway, having barely crossed the threshold when he was hit full force by a large, Sirius-shaped object. He gasped and stumbled backwards, almost losing his balance altogether, “Merlin Pads, are you trying to finish me off?” He coughed out as a muscular pair of arms wrapped around him tightly.   
“He has a point,” James laughed wryly from his position in the living room doorway, where he was watching the proceedings with an amused expression.  
“Oh, sorry,” Sirius released his death grip, stepping backwards and allowing Remus to get a proper look at him for the first time. It was all he could do to suppress another gasp- Sirius’s hair had been cropped short, and he was sporting an impressive black eye. “Awful, isn’t it?” Sirius grinned self-consciously, obviously having caught Remus staring.   
Remus blinked at him dumbly a few times, and mentally shook himself, “What in seven hells happened to you?”  
“I got in a fight with a vindictive pair of scissors,” Sirius said brashly, a slight glance in James’s direction informing Remus that the bravado was largely for the other boy’s benefit. 

At that moment, Mrs Potter bundled into the hallway behind Remus, almost hitting him with the door.   
“Oh, sorry Remus dear!” She exclaimed, “Don’t let me interrupt you, boys,”  
“We’re just going upstairs for a bit Mum,” James announced portentously, “We’ll be down for lunch though.”  
“Of course you will,” Mrs Potter smiled at him indulgently, “It’s a wonder you don’t eat us out of house and home! Is tomato soup alright for you Remus?”   
“Er, yes, thank you, Mrs Potter,” Remus stammered, slightly overwhelmed by her warmth and friendliness.   
“I’ll get on then,” She turned to James, “It should be ready in about half an hour,”  
The three boys waited until her footsteps echoed down the hallway before making their way up the wide staircase, James thundering ahead; taking two steps at a time with his lanky legs.  
“Pete couldn’t make it, lucky sod’s on holiday somewhere warm. And sunny,” James cast a disparaging glance out into the overcast day as they reached the dormer window at the top of the stairs, “We’ll have plenty of fun just us three though, won’t we?” There was almost a viciousness to his tone, as if he was daring Remus to disagree.  
The trio rounded the corner and James pushed open the door to his room with a grandiose air, “Welcome to my humble abode!”   
“I have been to your house before, James,” Remus reminded him.  
“And I’ve been staying here for the past four days,” Sirius added with a grin, “Your smelly fleapit rather loses its charm after a while.”  
James feigned shock, “What are you saying about my beautiful bedroom?”  
In truth, thought Remus, James’s bedroom was actually rather spectacular. Yes, it held a slightly musty teenage boy scent, and the plush carpet played home to an assortment of dirty clothing, but it was beautifully decorated in maroon and gold tones- although it was rather difficult to discern the colour of the walls among the plethora of quidditch posters.   
Letting out what could only be described as a war cry, James flung himself onto the large four-poster bed which acted as the room’s centrepiece, before sitting up and patting the spaces either side of him, “Take a seat, my men, for we have much to discuss”.  
Sirius groaned, “Can’t the bloody council adjourn until after luncheon?”   
“What treachery is this? You can’t speak of the esteemed Marauder’s council in such tones!” James let out a gasp.  
“Yes Sirius, what were you thinking?” Remus couldn’t help but laugh.  
James rearranged his hair before leaning back on the bed, “Anyway, in all seriousness…”   
“Since when did you ever say anything in ‘all seriousness’?” Remus interjected, earning himself a light elbow to the ribs.  
“The Prophet says the forecast is actually half decent for tomorrow, so I thought it might be a good day for that picnic,” James suggested, “There’s a nice spot by the lake where lots of muggle girls sometimes swim- not that either of you would have any interest in that particular attraction,”  
“What?” Remus spluttered, drowning out Sirius’s protests that he “could more than appreciate an attractive woman!”  
James frowned, “Don’t you know? I thought you of all people would have already known…”  
“Know what?” Remus found himself blinking stupidly, sure that he must have misheard James’s words.   
First glancing to Sirius for permission, James elaborated, “That our resident punk rock-star swings both ways,”   
Sirius raised his eyebrows at Remus significantly, “Oh… er… no. I…um… didn’t know. I had no idea.” He stammered. He had always been a terrible liar.  
James looked at him oddly, “And he then chose to share that fact with his parents. Hence him staying here.”   
Remus shot Sirius an astounded look, unable to even keep up the pretence, “What in Merlin’s name were you thinking?”  
“You should have heard the things they were saying, about ‘filthy queers’ being abominations who belonged Azkaban! All I did was ask if that meant they wanted me sent to Azkaban as well,” Sirius’s expression darkened, “It was worth it for the looks on their faces. For about five minutes.”  
“They could have killed you Pads!” Remus exclaimed, stricken by the prospect. At that moment, he wanted nothing more than to take the other boy into his arms. Sirius subconsciously reached a hand to probe his still swollen eye, “They damn near tried, what you can see isn’t the worst of it,”   
Remus gestured to Sirius’s hair, “I can grow that back, you know. If you want?”   
“Nah, it’s ok. It’s not the same as letting it grow out properly,” Sirius shrugged, his eyes flashing with gratefulness, “Thanks though Remy,”   
“And that is why he ended up dripping in our hallway at one in the morning,” James added, evidently trying to inject a little humour into the situation.  
“Dripping?” Remus was perplexed.  
“It was that night with the awful storm, and he didn’t want to wake us up with the bell, so he stood outside for about two hours before eventually letting himself in. Dad thought he was a burglar, nearly stupefied him!” James revelled in recounting the story, apparently oblivious to the fact that Sirius was beginning to look increasingly uncomfortable.   
“At least let me try and do something about that black eye?” Remus changed the track of the conversation; the tug of concern in his chest growing in intensity.   
“Mrs Potter tried. This is it after her best efforts,” Sirius smiled grimly, “Anyway, you’d probably manage to blind me. Healing spells aren’t exactly your speciality, are they?”  
“I’m not that bad! Merlin, you accidentally cause a bloke’s head to swell one time!” Remus chuckled at the memory.  
“You’re bloody lucky Pads and I took the rap for that, or that would have been your perfect prefect record over!” James chipped in, “Poor Bertram!”  
“Hey, it’s not my fault that if you flub the pronunciation of a simple bruise disguising spell, it happens to be an illegal hex!” Remus pouted.  
“That reminds me,” James paused to grab a familiar piece of parchment from his bedside table, “Can you have a look at this?”   
“What have you done to it now?” Remus sighed.  
“I had a go at fixing the tracking charm. It sort of worked, but it’s got a… time delay on it,” Sirius explained as Remus took the map from James and inspected it skeptically.   
“I solemnly swear that I’m up to no good,” Remus muttered, before staring at it in concentration for a few moments “It looks like all we need to do is…” Remus gave it a curt tap with his wand, muttering the necessary incantation quietly before watching the map with baited breath, his friends looking over his shoulder with anxious expressions.   
“It worked! We’ve done it! We’ve finally done it!” James whooped, jumping up off the bed and breaking into what Remus could only presume was intended to be some kind of victory dance.   
“Please never dance in front of Evans,” Sirius smirked, surreptitiously reaching out and giving Remus’s hand a squeeze.   
“You’ll be pleased to know that I wasn’t planning on it,” James abruptly ceased his bizarre contortions and sniffed the air, “It smells like lunch is ready. Come on, let’s go- I’m starving.”


	9. Early Morning Surprises (The End)

Sirius had always said that if Remus was able to be an animagus, he would probably be a cat. Curled up in a leather arm chair in front of the soporific warmth of a roaring fire, with a mug of cocoa beside him (courtesy of Mrs Potter) and a book in his lap- he couldn’t remember ever being happier. True, the loud bangs and shouts created by Sirius and James playing Exploding Snap on the floor at his feet weren’t exactly conducive to a peaceful environment, but it was amusing to watch the pair bicker, and watching them apparently try to blow each other up was even more so.  
“Hey, that’s not fair!” Sirius protested, as James won for approximately the 5th time that evening, “I said it first!”  
Letting out a yawn, James glanced over at the clock, “I’d offer you another rematch, but it’s nearly 2am, and I, for one, am tired.”  
“Can I have that in writing? The great ‘sleep is for the weak’ James Potter is tired?” Remus teased sleepily. He still wasn’t entirely recovered from the events of the full moon and it was important for him to get as much rest as possible- which wasn’t easy with those two around.  
“Shut up you, and let me go to bed!” James laughed, “Come on, let’s go upstairs,”   
Tired as he claimed to be, James still veritably bounded up the stairs, and Remus winced with every thump, “Won’t you wake your parents?”  
“They’ve had a silencing charm on the perimeter of their room since I arrived,” Sirius explained, “Can’t imagine why,”  
“Maybe it has something to do with your attempts at singing while you’re showering in the morning?” Remus teased.  
“My attempts? I have a beautiful singing voice!” Sirius mock-pouted.  
James let out a derogative snort, “Yeah, if you compare it to the Fat Lady’s,”   
He paused outside his bedroom, halting Remus as he moved to go in, “You’re sharing with Pads. If you can stand the smell, that is. He’s been in that room 5 days and it already smells of wet dog.”  
Remus had to stifle a smile, “In that case I think I’ll go and sleep on your sofa,”   
“Be my guest,” James grinned, stepping into his room, “Night lads,”  
The moment that James had shut the door behind him, Sirius turned to Remus with a smirk, “Are you really planning to sleep on the sofa? Because that can be arranged.”   
Remus pressed a lingering kiss to Sirius’s jawline, “What do you think?”  
Sirius raised his eyebrows, before taking Remus’s cool hand in his own warm one, and leading him down the hallway, “I’ll take that as a no then, shall I?”

Early morning sunlight trickled in through the window as Remus’s eyes flickered open. His breath spiralled in wisps in front of him, visible in the damp air which was so inevitable in such a large old house, but he was not cold- thanks to the heat radiating from the body pressed up against him. He pulled the duvet up further to cover his shoulders, the daylight returning the shame and anxiety which came from the exposure of his bare torso. Last night, however, had been entirely different. He had been apprehensive about allowing Sirius to see his scars properly for the first time, but the other boy had understood implicitly, treating them with a careful reverence which had almost brought Remus to tears.  
Feeling Sirius stir slightly beside him, he glanced over, pleased to see that his grey eyes were blinking in the light. “Morning Pads,” He mumbled drowsily, propping himself up on one elbow. Initially receiving no response, he sat up a little further, prompting a muscular arm to reach out from under the coverlet and draw him back down, pulling him closer as it did so.  
“Morning Moony,” The reply eventually came, and Remus rested his head on the other boy’s chest, feeling its gentle rise and fall as Sirius slipped an arm around him; urging him closer still, “How the hell are you always so cold?”  
“Maybe you’re just perpetually hot,” Remus replied, allowing his eyelids to fall closed for a moment.  
“There’s no maybe about it. I’m extremely hot!” Sirius corrected with a lazy smile, “Although if attractiveness truly correlated with body temperature, you’d constantly be running a fever,”  
Blood rushed to Remus’s cheeks as he made several inarticulate noises during his search for an appropriate response. Finding none, he simply buried himself deeper in Sirius's chest, much to the marginally shorter boy’s amusement.  
Sirius traced lazy circles on Remus’s shoulder with his thumb, “I should compliment you more often, it’s entertaining,”  
Remus came to the entirely necessary conclusion that the only way he was going to shut Sirius up was by kissing him. At first the kiss’s recipient seemed a little startled, but then one hand reached for Remus’s face and the other knotted in his hair, and before long Remus could think of nothing other than Sirius’s weight on top of him, that honey and liquor taste and his hands’ urgent exploration of every inch of the other boy’s torso. Apparently Sirius was also adequately distracted, as neither of them registered James’s entrance.

“Pads, Moony, are you aw…” James trailed off, standing in the doorway frozen in shock, “I’ll take that as a yes,” He began backing out of the room, apparently unable to take his eyes off the two boys. Remus was scarlet faced and it was clear that Sirius could see the panic written across his expression, as he quickly handed him the nearest available t-shirt from the floor by the bed. Heart hammering, Remus couldn’t pull it on fast enough, ending up with it inside-out. He glanced at Sirius, and saw that the other boy, usually so confident, was biting down hard on his lip.  
“James,” Sirius got to his feet, discreetly readjusting his pyjama trousers, “Wait,”  
James paused halfway down the hallway, making his way back towards the room. Remus rolled over and buried his face in the pillow as he heard the footsteps reapproaching.  
“Are you both decent?” James asked, and Remus relaxed a little as he detected the note of humour in his friend’s voice.  
“We were never indecent,” Sirius protested uncertainly, and Remus felt the boy’s weight settle on the bed beside him.  
“You two are such a disappointment,” James began, and there was enough sincerity there that Remus’s heart began to sink, but when he glanced up, he saw the grin on James’s face, “I owe Peter five galleons now!”  
“Hang on,” Remus sat bolt upright, unable to believe what he was hearing, “Would you care to share why you owe Peter five galleons?”  
James let out a snort of laughter, “Either you thought we were blind, or you thought Pads was capable of subtlety,”  
Sirius appeared suitably sheepish when Remus turned to mock-glare at him, although fell short of pulling the ‘kicked puppy’ face which was capable of melting even the strongest of Remus’s resolves.  
“Oh come on Moony, it’s been obvious since you…er… came out, that things between you two aren’t exactly platonic,” James appeared to be almost incredulous in the face of Remus’s belief that his two friends had known nothing about it, “Pete was willing to gamble his entire allowance for next term that you two would get together, while I incorrectly assumed that you would both continue the whole ‘denial and repressing emotions thing’ which you excel at,”  
It wasn’t entirely clear which of the missiles was launched first, or by whom, but they both hit their mark- the pillow with a dull thud, and the boot with a slightly concerning crunch.  
“Ow, fuck! Are you trying to finish me off?” James gasped affrontedly, clutching a hand to his forehead with a bemused expression.  
“The thought did cross my mind, but then I thought, ‘no, my idiot mate isn’t worth going to Azkaban over’,” Sirius grinned, retrieving his pillow from the floor.  
Remus, however, showed little hint of remorse, “Yes,” He replied simply, allowing a hint of a smile to play on his lips.  
“And you couldn’t have done it with one of your slippers or something? These things have steel toecaps, you know!” James picked the offending item up by its laces, surveying it critically. Remus couldn’t help but feel a very slight twinge of guilt at the sight of the small welt appearing on his friend’s forehead, but it was quickly pushed from his mind by Sirius snatching the boot from James’s hand, “Careful with that, they were bloody expensive!” He grumbled, carefully setting it on the bed behind him.  
James raised his eyebrows, “So I hold it and you get annoyed with me, but he doesn’t get in trouble for lobbing it at me?”  
Unusually, it seemed to take Sirius several seconds to calculate a response. “Oh no, he’s in lots and lots of trouble,” He said slowly, a wicked grin forming on his face as he leaned towards Remus- who was entirely oblivious to the rapidly unfolding plan until he felt himself being pushed back onto the bed. Initially, he let out a small squeak of protest, but it was kind of difficult to resist those slightly chapped lips and…  
“Ok, ok, I’m sorry!” James’s yelp pulled the pair back into reality, and they broke apart, Remus blinking dazedly. “I’m alright with you two being together, but that doesn’t mean… I didn’t need to see that.”  
Sirius sat up with a rather triumphant grin decorating his face, “Is your mum making breakfast? I’m starving!”  
“Do you ever think about anything other than your stomach?” James questioned, before noticing the way that Sirius’s eyes slid to Remus’s midriff, “Ok, please don’t answer that question.”  
“Well, is she?” Sirius continued probing, running a hand through his hair nonchalantly.  
Rubbing his forehead in a rueful fashion, James leant against the doorframe, “Yes, but it’s not anything very exciting. She wants us to save our appetites for the picnic later,”  
“Later?” Remus squeaked, “But I thought it was supposed to rain today, and…and…” He was quieted by the strong arms which wrapped themselves around his torso, and the tickling sensation of breath against his neck.  
“You worry too much,” The familiar low voice chuckled, “Look outside Moony,”  
Remus did as he was told, ignoring James’s quiet groan at even the small show of affection, and he was forced to concede. The sun was glaring down brilliantly, hung on the backdrop of a blue cloudless sky, and the breeze blowing in where the window had been left just ajar was warm and inviting. Well, relatively speaking- in that moment, being a gay teenage werewolf didn’t seem to be quite such a bad thing at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for coming with me this far! I know the ending may seem a little abrupt, but it just felt right to me- I like to leave things open to reader interpretation. Comments and kudos are always much appreciated, you lovely, lovely people :)


End file.
